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14 December 2010 @ 02:23 pm


Friend-locked most practically all of the time. But check back. The banner changes.
 
 
22 January 2009 @ 12:55 am
Ugh. So today when I woke up, I tottered off to the bathroom - only to open my eyes 5 seconds later and find myself lying on the floor, with no recollection of the journey to the floor (or even closing my eyes for that matter).

The odd thing is, my first thought was that I'd been sleeping on the floor. Because in fact, I didn't even remember that I'd actually been trying to get to the bathroom, rather than my wonderfully dirty carpet.

In all honesty - I think I just fell asleep while I was walking.

But the bright side is I found two 10?-packs of Yakult in the fridge, alongside a wonderful recyclable plastic box filled with sushi. All my Yakult-craving has finally paid off. Albeit the fact that I wasn't quite craving that much Yakult, but you know. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, etc.

On the other hand of the bright side of my morning ventures, I am now officially moving house, to a place that will add 10-20 minutes onto my journey to and from school, despite being 11km closer to the city. Folks, this is what happens when your parents pick a house that is not walking distance to the train station. That and, did I mention, how much I am not looking forward to being on the Glen Waverly line? No offence GW-ers, but I happened to like the company on the Lilydale line much more than I will ever like you.

One more con, Chinese school is now a mere 5 minutes away. You'll probably find me walking to there soon.

Want to stalk me? Here's my house
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24 December 2008 @ 03:20 am
omfg. just. lol. This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. If anyone has read this before and never told me about it I hate you so much.
Personal favourites highlighted :)
 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!



JOHN MC CAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON:


When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.; This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me..


DR. PHIL:


The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.


OPRAH:


Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.



COLIN POWELL:


Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...



ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:


We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


JOHN KERRY:


Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.


NANCY GRACE:


That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.


PAT BUCHANAN:


To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


MARTHA STEWART:


No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.


DR SEUSS:


Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.


EMO CHILD:

To die in the rain. Alone.



JERRY FALWELL:

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.



GRANDPA:


In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.



BARBARA WALTERS:


Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.


ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


JOHN LENNON (wrote the song "imagine"):


Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


BILL GATES:


I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C%< reboot.


ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!!!! ...

What is your definition of chicken?


AL GORE:


I invented the chicken!


COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?



DICK CHENEY:


Where's my gun?


REV. JEREMIAH WRIGHT:

Why are all the chickens white? ... We need some black chickens! That is what is wrong with this accursed country of slavery and betrayal! Yes, Whitey is keeping the black chickens down, with the help of all the Uncle Tom chickens stooping to betray themselves…
 

oh-kay. well that was like half of them highlighted but hey, they were funny, and I was really doing my best not to roll off my chair onto the floor in fits of laughter at 3.27 in the morning. Because that would have called for the waking of the mothership in the room to my immediate left.

 
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11 December 2008 @ 07:06 pm
So I had the time of my life today.

Braving the stale air, clawing my way through a mass of old clothes comparable to the size of the Pacific Ocean, plunging my hands into an abyss, which for some rather-be-left-unsaid reason contained old food crumbs, tuna cans, residue of blu-tack and undoubtably some yet-to-show-itself mould and rat skeletons. Poor things.

All this to retrieve the one and only cordless phone in the household (because honestly, why bother going downstairs when it's probably just some curry guy selling Telstra mobiles) whose ringing was audible by the smallest of margins - which is miraculous really considering the amount of trash-that-will-remain-unscrutinised that it was buried under.
 
And guess who it was? None other than the slob whose rotting skin cells I was enveloping my hands in - calling to say she was having dinner out.
 
SALKDJHJASJKASDKLJ OMG NO ONE CARES AND WILL YOU STOP LEAVING THE PHONE IN THE ROOM UNDERNEATH ALL YOUR PILES OF SHIT AFTER TALKING TO YOUR GODDADMN BOYFRIEND UNTIL 3 IN THE MORNING. YES THAT'S RIGHT. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DON'T REALLY NECESSARILY KIND OF ENJOY DIGGING AROUND IN YOUR PILES OF OLD CRUSTY JEANS.
 
I should sue.